Spare the Rod Spoil the Child....A Different Perspective

Image taken from google images.

Over the 21 years that I worked in child welfare I cannot tell you the number of times Proverbs 12:24 was quoted to me as a defense for injuries being left on a child as the result of a spanking.  You know the one:  “Spare the Rod, spoil the child.”  Many people believe this verse condones and even instructs corporal punishment.  I will not use this space as a discourse on whether or not one should use corporal punishment.  What I will do is offer a different understanding of this often quoted proverb. 

            To understand this proverb you must understand a bit about a shepherds practice in herding sheep.  The shepherd’s tool for his trade is the rod and staff.  We recall the Psalmist of Psalm 23 writing “thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.”  I don’t know about you but I would never describe the experience of being spanked one of comfort.  The shepherd’s rod and staff are comforting though.  You see, the shepherd used that rod and staff, not to beat or whip the sheep into obedience, but to guide and direct the sheep.  As sheep were being led down a path, the rod was used to guide them along the path and to keep them from straying off the path.  If a lamb were getting off the path the shepherd would hold out the rod to the lamb’s side to guide him back onto the path.  The hook of the staff was used it pull a lamb who was falling over a cliff or embankment back up onto the path and rescue it from certain doom. 

            What if we viewed parenting as a shepherding process.  The shepherd never needed to beat the sheep.  The sheep trusted the shepherd and knew the shepherds voice.  The shepherd fed the sheep, watered the sheep, made sure the sheep got rest, and protected the sheep from the wolves lurking and preying upon them.  The shepherd used the rod and the staff to guide and protect the sheep. In what ways can we guide and protect our children and keep them on the path that leads to life and not danger or doom?  The word discipline means to disciple.  How do we disciple our children? 

            Next time you see a child that is unruly and you’re tempted to quote spare the rod, spoil the child, I hope you will remember this alternative understanding of what that means.  I hope you will take the opportunity to model relationship building to that parent.  I hope you will pray for that parent and that child.