Tuesday, December 22, 2009

For years, the same struggle faces me. The fight of time and priority. The desire of my heart: to be fully emersed into the will and journey a pilgramage with God; The desire of my flesh: to waste time, to put other things first, to sleep in, to pursue my other interests. Yet all the time the desire of my heart calls me back. I begin anew like a babe taking that first walk that is prompted by the thump of the heart beat when an invitation speaks directly to you. God sends that invitation to me often and often the thump of the heart leads to me to the altar at His mighty feet and again the God of Peace, Love, Comfort and Grace hears my promises, hears my laments, hears whatever I bring and assures me it is not God that left but I who have become distant. So here I am again. Realizing much too much time has passed since I have acknowledged God as a part of my everyday, since I have tithed my time, given of my first fruits. May this time be different then the times of past. May this time last for eternity and may in my seeking I find the ultimate plan God has for me. This time my path: Psalms and Proverbs and an intentional daily reading and studying of the lectionary and routine sermon prepartion for my own edification. Perhaps listening to some sermons, always listening to some music. This morning I begin with Psalm 1 and Proverbs 1. God may I seek wisdom always. Thought that came to me as I read: I really need to instill daily contact with the WORD and with God in my son. I feel good that I have not stolen from people and I look for the places where I might have tried to gain material things in an illgotten way. I am reminded that revenge is God's and the ultimate price for those who take advantage of others, who gain things in the wrong way, the ultimate price they pay is their lives. The path always leads to destruction and is not a path to envy. Things I read anew in foot note and such: Fool: Is not somene without mental facalties but someone who rejects communion with God. I wonder if I have not by omission been guilty of that.

Dear God, thank you for always being steadfast no matter how far away from you I may travel. Thank you for always being right there drawing me back to you. Open my heart, my mind and my eyes to what you have planned for me. May I live a day today with you in front of me......