A hodgepodge of realizations.

Today has brought with it a few realizations. I began my morning this morning as I waited for my turn in the bathroom (we've got to get back to two soon) beginning a reading of Isaiah. I skipped over Song of Solomon: as beautiful as it is, I just wasn't connecting with it at this time. So, I read my daily devotion from Grace for the Moment, went forward to my daily psalm and then began Isaiah. Isaiah was a prophet who wrote during the reign of Uzziah, Jotham, Ahaz and Hezekiah over Judah (Isaiah 1:1) I read the first chapter and decided it would be a good thing to go back and read in Kings about the rein of those Kings. What I found is that Uzziah and Jotham did mostly what was right except they ignored the sex shrines and let them continue on, Ahaz decided to join in on the activities of the Sex shrines and Hezekiah tried to restore things back to being right. During all of this time Isaiah was bringing messages from God. First realization: I wish I had a prophet communicating direct messages from God to me personally on a daily basis. Boy life would be easier to navigate sometimes.

In Sunday School Sunday we went over results of a spiritual gifts inventory that we took on line. I was very ashamed to admit that prayer recieved a low ranking in my list. I was reminded of that today as I sat with a mound of work in front of me in the midst of a house that wasn't as clean as it should be and felt extremely overwhelmed and somewhat paralzyed. Suddenly I found myself on my knees confessing my overwhelmed feeling, confessing the areas that I had neglected that had contributed to the oversized tasks ahead of me and begging God to be in the yoke with me. I never quite understood what a yoke was until it was explained by someone to me about a year or more ago. It was explained to me that a yoke is what is put on Oxen when they are hooked to the plow to work the field. When a young Oxen is being trained for the task of plowing, the best, most experienced and mature Oxen is put in the yoke with the young Oxen and directs that OX on what to do. So when we are urged to take the Yoke of Christ upon us.....wow, that means we are letting God be attached to our every move and guide those moves. I also asked Him for a prophet by the way.

As I was trying to come up with a brief summary of how I was feeling for my facebook status I decided that life was like a game of golf, each hole representing a role that I play. Hole #1. Spritual life to include church activity. Hole #2. Best Friend, Housemate, confidant. Hole #3. Mother. Hole # 4. Relationship with my family of origin. Hole #5 Work. Hole# 6 Housekeeper......and on and on it goes. To shoot a par is to do what is expected for that hole. To Get a birdie is to excel. To get a Bogey or more is to fall short. Right now I feel like I am shooting a match of Bogeys or more....although my dear cousin has informed me I might have shot a birdie on the hole designated for cousins.....Thanks Jess. I feel like I am excelling at nothing. I feel like I am even falling short of the pars on most holes. So I'm left to wonder how to improve my game. I am hopeful that putting God in the Yoke with me will be the best strategy of the day. I wonder if I am playing too many holes. Perhaps my stamina is not quite built up to the number of holes I'm trying to play. Perhaps I need to perfect the front nine before I even think about going onto the back 9 much less moving forward to playing 36 in a day.
Perhaps I need a caddy. I just don't know. But, I know I must increase that score on Prayer and make that a priority if the game is ever to improve at all.