The Greatest Role Was Father----Funeral service of Fred Holmes

Introduction to Serenity Prayer:

 

The family would like to honor Fred’s memory by sharing in a prayer that Fred prayed often and strived to live by:  Please join me and the family in praying the serenity prayer which is printed in the Bulletin:

 

God grant me
the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time,
enjoying one moment at a time;
accepting hardship as a pathway to peace;
taking this sinful world as it is,
not as I would have it:

trusting that you will make all things right
if I surrender to your will;
so that I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy
with you forever in the next. 

 

 

Old Testament Reading:

 

I share with you a reading from the Old Testament:

 

Lamentations 3:19-26 and 31-33

 

I remember my affliction and my wandering,
the bitterness and the gall.
²⁰ I well remember them,
and my soul is downcast within me.
²¹ Yet this I call to mind
and therefore I have hope:

²² Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
²³ They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.
²⁴ I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him.”

²⁵ The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,
to the one who seeks him;
²⁶ it is good to wait quietly
for the salvation of the Lord.

For no one is cast off
by the Lord forever.
³² Though he brings grief, he will show compassion,
so great is his unfailing love.
³³ For he does not willingly bring affliction
or grief to anyone.

 

And from the New Testament:  Mark 4:35-41

 

³⁵ That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, “Let us go over to the other side.” ³⁶ Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. ³⁷ A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. ³⁸ Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?”

³⁹ He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.

⁴⁰ He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”

⁴¹ They were terrified and asked each other, “Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!”

This is the Word of God for the People of God.

Prayer of Thanksgiving:

Let us Pray:

Spirit of the Living God, God who is the God of us all, we thank you for Christ’s grace through which we pray to you in this dark hour.  A life we love has been torn from us.  Expectation the years once held have vanished.  Our hope seems gone.  The mystery of death has stricken us hard.  Our hearts are heavy.  O God, you know the lives we live and the deaths we die- woven so strangely of purpose and of chance, of reason and of the irrational, of strength and of frailty, of happiness and of pain.  Into your hands we commend the soul of Frederick Walter Holmes Jr. known to us as Fred.  No mortal life you have made is without eternal meaning.  No earthly fate is beyond your redeeming.  Through your grace that can do far more than we can think or imagine, fulfill in Fred your purpose that reaches beyond time and death.  Lead Fred from strength to strength, and fit Fred for love and service in your kingdom.  Into your hands also we commit our lives.  You alone, God, make us to dwell in safety.  Whom, finally, have we on earth or in heaven but you?  Help us to know the measure of our days, and how frail we are.  Hold us in your keeping.  Forgive us our sins.  Save our minds from despair and our hearts from fear.  And guard and guide us with your peace.  Now we pray to you oh God the prayer that you taught us to pray and another prayer Fred often prayed: 

Our Father……….Amen

Words of Faith and Celebration:

Fred Holmes:  Jokester, Friend, avid Star Trek fan, master carpenter, great furniture maker, caring friend, outdoorsman, Cook, lover of animals……..

On Thursday November 1, 2012 we lost a father, a brother, a child, a friend.  Fred had already defeated death once in his lifetime having had a liver transplant on Good Friday in 2000.  He woke up Easter morning. The joy that comes for all of us in celebrating the resurrection of Jesus came in double portions for Fred when he woke up with new life that morning.  Just as Fred found new life on a Holiday then, He found new life again on a holiday this past Thursday on November 1^st.  November 1^st is All Saints Day; a day when we remember Saints.  The day lasts from sundown October 31^st until Sundown on November 1^st.  The day is commemorated many different ways.  The United Methodist church defines a saint as being all Christians, therefore, in the Methodist church we celebrate all the deceased members of our church from the previous year.  An hour before Fred was found, I was sitting in chapel at Emory University, celebrating all Saints day.  The Reverend Dr. Alice Rogers presented the message that day and she told the story of the Saint that came to her mind that day.  She told us of a man that had smoked every day and who had a drinking problem.  Many nights his wife would pile the 3 children up in the car to go look for him at the bars and bring him home.  She went on telling the story of this man, one who many might not consider a saint by the description thus far.  She then told of his dying and of his wife answering the door of their home to someone asking “is the man that helps people here?”  His wife didn’t understand. The story continues of person after person coming to the door seeking the man who helps people.  The family learned that day that the gentleman lead a secret life of giving and helping to innumerable persons.  The Saint, Dr. Rogers shared with us, was her pappy.  Dr. Rogers used this story to remind each of us that among the hurt and the broken-ness that we each experience in our lives there resides a Saint within each of us.  As I drove to the funeral home Saturday Evening thinking about Fred, I remembered this sermon and was struck by how it could be Fred’s story, it ours.  We all have hurts, habits and hangups that blind others to the Saint within us.  Nonetheless the Saint is there and as the writer of Lamentations points out, God does not cast us off forever.  God’s grace is there working in each of us, to bring forth the Saint within.  My experience with Fred Holmes and the experiences of those whom I have talked to about him over the last several days, is an experience with that Saint within.  Fred enjoyed humor and was “crazy.”  Heather says my Dad was crazy.  He was crazy in the fun sense of the word.  He loved to make jokes, to keep people guessing.  Remembering these stories will make you laugh and in this way Fred lives on putting smiles on the faces of those he loves.   

Fred, loved the outdoors.  He had once aspired to be a Forest Ranger.  He loved his dogs and in the place he had just rented he had taken the lawn mower and mowed down paths through the fields for a track to explore the new environment with his beloved dog Buster.  His Landlord describes him and Buster running, walking and playing throughout those fields and woods.  Fred loved his dogs as if they too were his children and in fact his former dog Barron will be buried with him.  Fred has spent much time outdoors walking, hiking, fishing, playing golf or just sitting on the porch enjoying the fresh air.  From this spot he played the role of overseer to his elderly neighbor.  Her son expressed that she felt so good about Fred being there.  He would help out and he watched over her from that porch atop a little hill.  Fred was charming and had a way of arguing his case in a way that you just couldn’t say no.  His Landlord found this out when he agreed to rent to Fred, having had no desire to be a landlord.  It’s a decision he doesn’t regret for Fred provided them with peace of mind and great friendship. 

A great friend Fred was to many.  He had a huge heart, doing anything for anybody.    His friends were an extension of family to him.  He loved to cook for them and bake pies for them.  He fixed a holiday meal for them one time and had a blast doing it.    He did not consider it a chore but a gift not only to those he was giving to but as a gift to himself for being able to do it.  He was a great cook and Heather says with a  huge smile that her dad made the best meatloaf ever!  He cooked with love and what he cooked was a creation to be enjoyed.  Fred didn’t just cook for his friends, he was there for them to listen to them, to be a shoulder to lean on and to give assistance where he could.  He shared a special friendship  with his best friend Joy.  He was there for her in good times and in rough times as she was to him.  His friendship with you Joy, and with the rest of you who were a part of his created family has reshaped you and changed you in positive ways.  When you think of Fred and remember Fred, hold onto those positive ways in which he reshaped you and in doing so a part of him will stay alive with you. 

Fred has been a loving son, brother, uncle, husband and friend in his lifetime,  but by far the greatest role Fred ever played was the role of father.  Fred took great joy in being a father who was present with his daughter; helping with homework,  going to movies, and going to eat together.  Fred enjoyed surprises and Heather remembers fondly him surprising her with a trip to the circus when she was younger.  I remember well the pride I saw in his eyes as he had the honor of walking Heather down the Isle at her wedding and the confidence he had in Brad to provide a safe and comfortable home for his little girl. 

The description you’ve heard above my friends is a description of a man to be remembered as a saint. 

We heard a story earlier of a storm that had Jesus’ closest followers scared for their lives.  In the midst of that storm, however, Jesus slept.  The Disciples cried out: “Jesus do you not care that we are about to die?”  Today many of us may be feeling like those disciples felt that day.  A huge storm entering your life on Thursday afternoon.  We cry out God, Do you not care, where are you?  Jesus answered by calling out to the winds and said Quiet!  Be Still!  In the days of the disciples in Palestine storms at sea were symbolic of all the uncontrollable dark forces that can suddenly take hold of our life, disturb it, damage it or even destroy it.  Today those dark forces  comes in the form of having to face the mystery of death in circumstances that we may never understand.  We know that death comes to us all. We might have success in avoiding it or postponing it, but ultimately we must succumb to its dark and mysterious power. And this was true, even of Jesus, who died a most terrible death, nailed to a cross. And for a few long hours it seemed that death had won, that there were dark powers that Jesus could not overcome. But then, on the third day, the resurrection was revealed. It became clear that Jesus had passed through death and was alive once more, no longer subject to death and decay.  Sometime Wednesday night or Thursday morning, Fred’s body succumbed to death but he awoke in the presence of God.    We can find comfort in knowing that our own storms do not last forever.  We can find comfort that Joy comes in the morning just like it did for Fred on Easter morning, 2000 when he awoke to new life, Just like it happened for Fred on Thursday morning when he awoke in the presence of God.  We cry out.  Jesus says Peace, be Still. 

Family and friends find that peace and that stillness in each other in the days to come.  Know that I am here for you, this church is here for you, and you have each other.  Continue to tell the stories and smile. In those stories you will find peace and comfort. 

Serenity Prayer:  Fred had a prayer taped to his mirror that he saw every time he looked in the mirror.  Fitting that it is the prayer of a Saint; Saint Francis of Assisi:  Would you please stand and recite this prayer with me:

*Prayer of St. Francis of Assisi

"Lord, make me a channel of thy peace - that where there is hatred, I may bring love - that where is wrong, i may bring the spirit of forgiveness - that where there is discord, i may bring harmony - that where there is error, i may bring truth - that where there is doubt, i may bring faith - that where there is despair, i may bring hope - that where there are shadows, i may bring light - that where there is sadness, I may bring joy. Lord, grant that i may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted - to understand, than to be understood - to love, than to be loved. For it is by self-forgetting that one finds. It is by forgiving that one is forgiven. It is by dying that one awakens to Eternal Life. Amen."

 

Transfer of Membership:  Dr. Chuck Wilson transferred Fred's membership from Longs Chapel United Methodist Church to the Church Triumphant. 

 

Sending Forth: 

 

Now may the peace of God which surpasses all understanding keep your hearts and minds in the knowledge and love of God and of God’s son Jesus Christ our Lord.  And the blessing of God Almighty, the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, be among you and remain with you Always.  Amen.